Tuesday 12 October 2021

Ever Evolving

 Property improvements continue slowly. Boarding at Friend S's house (where we are all super happy) the pressure is off as far as any imminent moves. I still very much am excited to get further projects rolling, but as I sit here typing there's yet another big weather system coming in and I think we can reasonably say that we're not actually getting an arena completed in the wettest months of the year.


Friend S has even got her own beautiful trail system. Spoiler alert: my ~ 1 acre place will not.

I'm totally the person who puts together the plan and gets it done  - deviations from the plan annoy me. So, it's kind of interesting right now. I feel like I have so much time. I'm finding myself making changes to the property layout and design that are going to make it work that little bit better. Things as minor as planting trees in a slightly different location than originally planned, to adding a whole new separate building and paddock.


We're building something similar to this on the south property line. One side will be for equipment storage, freeing up space in the barn for hay, one for a horse (Read on for why I'm building a second paddock space)

In the theme of evolving goals and plans - Sophie. Sophie was purchased to be Bridget 2.0. More athletic, sharper, fancier, going to go get those further dressage goals. I saved up money for a long time, I shopped for an equally long time, and finally bought Ms Sophie. It was not a spur of the moment decision by any stretch of the imagination. I was very invested in her financially and emotionally before she even set foot in the barn.


2 year old Sophie here actually just looks like a scaled down 5 year old Sophie. She's grown about 6" but the somehow has stayed proportionately gangly looking :) We're still waiting on her to fill out.

You want to know what the #1 thing that's absolutely changed how I ride her and my confidence doing so?

My husband G.

 "You know you don't have to keep her, right?"

"I'd miss her, but if you'd like something different I'll support that"

"I'd love to see you out having fun at events again, like you did with Bridget"

"Did you want to buy that Welsh Cob foal? We could find the space"*

"E's horse does seem really nice. You know we could buy you something like that if you wanted, right?"

Comments like that didn't immediately make a difference (in fact, maybe the opposite: "Are you trying to say I'm FAILING with Sophie? I'm FINE."), but gradually they started to filter in as he repeatedly assured me it's not that he really wants to sell her or doesn't believe I've got this, it's just good to reevaluate your plan now and then and make sure you're still having fun and on the path you want to be on.

(Sidenote: I pay all my horse expenses and like putting the training work in so the chances of me asking him to use his money to help buy me a dream pony are nil. But it's beyond nice to have that level of support offered on the days when it seems like a struggle :)

*But I do still REALLY like the cob foal so...never say never.

Even with B sidelined, it's slowly got to feel like my riding future isn't totally hung up on Sophie, and that it isn't all on me to do a perfect job of bringing along the 'too nice for a rider like me' and sometimes not so easy pony. If for any reason it's not working out, there is a lifeline there waiting.

Don't get me wrong, we love her, she's great, there are no plans for her to go anywhere and I'm 110% committed to doing a good job with her. But just knowing I can have a Plan B if I want one, and have support for that? Just amazing, and takes away so much of the second guessing and anxiety around the bad days. I've adopted kind of a 'whatever will be, will be' approach to our rides and strangely enough, with the stress levels on my part dialed right down, S is a happier girl as well.

When I saw this on Bridget's blanket the other day, though, I was like "well, let's take some sale pictures of Sophie! No one messes with Bridget." Bad Sophie. Sophie's been very wary of B the last few days though so I suspect B didn't need any intervention on her behalf :) This confirmed for me that I want a second winter paddock at home - even horses that get along super well need to be separated now and then.



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16 comments

  1. Those hoofprints! LOL! I would have liked to have seen Bridget's reaction!

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    1. I would imagine that vengeance was had immediately - and it seems it must have been memorable too, S has been on best behavior again :)

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  2. That’s awesome that you have such a supportive spouse who is able to ask those questions in a reassuring way. It happens so often that owners associate a potential mismatch with a horse as some sort of personal failure, when it really isn’t. It’s interesting that things feel better as you’ve been thinking thru this subject tho. One of my good friends in college finally decided to sell her horse who wasn’t a good match, except as soon as she decided that, it’s like a flip switched. Something happened, some important obstacle was removed somehow, and they started clicking and she kept him haha, go figure!

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    1. Same! Pretty much just needed someone to tell me it's OK to make the decision that this doesn't have to be my life and I can move on if I want. Now that I've opened up to that being an option, though, I'm having fun just enjoying her for what she is (an attitude I should have had all along!)

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  3. You can never have too many paddocks or stalls for horses 😉 ask me how I know 🤣 I always seem to have one more stall than horses, although at least right now I can split my foaling stall into two lol. I think it's the sign of an intelligent planner that you constantly check in on things and are willing to make adjustments!

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    1. It's a good plan so long as my spare spaces are filled with horses rather than clutter :D

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  4. Your husband is a gem! Nice to have your life partner validate that things should be fun for you and he will help make it happen. Glad the pressure is a bit off for you...

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    1. I have no idea what I did to deserve him. It definitely feels like the pressure is off and I can just have fun and see where things lead. Less 'this is your one chance to get it right' and more 'it's just a step in the journey' ;)

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  5. Annie has gotten little Spud prints on her rainsheet before, lol. Glad B is OK.

    And as a sidenote, how wonderful is it to have support like that!! I know it's not your intent to sell her, but sometimes its almost... freeing to know that that is an option.

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    1. For whatever reason, it's exactly what I need to hear at this point in time.

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  6. A couple of weeks before we left for Germany my MIL sent me a video of a super cool horse on our to-try list (who ultimately ended up falling off the list because she got injured) and I had the closest thing to a panic/anxiety attack I've probably ever experienced. My husband was like "What are you panicking about" and I said that I was worried I wouldn't be able to ride the horse, wouldn't be strong enough, wouldn't enjoy it, would get this really nice horse and ruin it, wouldn't have a good time....

    He came back with "So, would you say owning Murray has been a net positive experience?" and I was like "Yes, totally. I'd do it again even knowing how much of a pain he is." And husband was like "Okay well that horse is a dumpster fire. If you had a good time with him, this next horse CANNOT POSSIBLY be worse."

    It's a bit of an uncharitable picture of Murray, but it certainly helped to settle me down a bit. Knowing that it's not permanent if I don't want it to be and that "fun" is the name of the game here really helped. Maybe not the right advice for everyone, but it worked for me. A supportive partner rocks.

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    1. Your guy sounds great! Similar chats happening here about having a nice, purpose bred horse for the first time in my life, and whether I really deserve such an equine - taking myself and the situation far too seriously!
      I'm super excited for you and your new horse (hony?) I think you're going to have so much fun!

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    2. HAHAHA omg Nicole your husband is hilarious

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  7. I'll never forget Ed telling me that if I wanted to go to Spain to buy a horse I should do it. These guys are so awesome.

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    1. Right? Realistically I know I won't ever take G up on the more extravagant options, but having someone reminding you the sky is basically the limit for your dreams and that you deserve good things? So, so awesome <3

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  8. Having a support network is so crucial. I'm glad your spouse is really in your corner!

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