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| Maybe it's her lady beard? :) |
I can be SUPER hard on myself, but over the years, I've learned I kind of need to tone myself down if this hobby is going to be an enjoyable one for me. As time goes on, I am less and less bothered when things don't go the way I hope or expect, and am definitely way less worried about what anyone thinks (a really cool feature of getting older, lol). I feel like even in the time I've been writing this blog, there have been some big changes. I was super motivated with Ginger, laser focused and serious about my daily goals with Bridget, but now the pendulum has swung in the opposite direction with Sophie and my outlook is more day by day, let's just see what happens.
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| Poor Bridget, the older sister always has to grow up with more rules. |
With Sophie, I have a definite big picture idea of what I'd like to accomplish with her. Baby horses being baby horses, who knows what will really happen, but my goals are pretty solid in my mind: I want a fun pony to compete up the levels in dressage, potentially with some lower level eventing to keep it interesting. Typically, I don't enjoy high maintenance or overly quirky horses to own, and S would like to be a bit of both, so I am aware that there will need to be a certain level of seriousness and dedication required to create the well rounded horse of my dreams.
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| Quirky. Now with extra hair. |
Right now I am putting in the time to do everything possible to ensure she sees as much of the world as possible and has as many positive, low key experiences as I can provide while her brain is a baby learning sponge. In short, at this point in her life I am only serious about creating a happy, healthy pony who wants to work with me and sees our interactions as fun and interesting. I keep a regular schedule of outings with her. I am serious about having her be a good member of equine society (bathing, clipping, picking up feet, leading, tying, standing, comfortable in different surroundings, etc), but there are plenty of days where we just go for a walk in the forest. Sometimes, I just put her in a new field and leave her to figure out that change (and the new grass that goes with it) is a good thing.
The small stuff, like the many, many mistakes I'm sure we both make on a day to day basis...meh not going to get caught up in that. I'm certainly not trying to follow any 'program' or training plan. If I do, it's too easy to get caught up in the failures and the "I suck, what's the point, I'll never be good at this" dialogue. Much better to just keep one foot in front of the other, make corrections in the moment and move right on forward again. No looking in the rear view!
This isn't to say I don't want to learn new things or be better version of ourselves, or that I don't take Sophie's education seriously. I do. But I also think there needs to be room for this to be fun, and that both myself and my horses are happier when the crazy owner who makes mistakes but is happy and positive and not discouraged by them shows up, rather than when the 'taking it all very seriously, hang on while I check what this book says, better not mess this up' version of myself appears. We learn through mistakes, and horses are pretty forgiving and accommodating creatures. With my two, I am definitely noticing a difference in them when I am a less rule and structure oriented and more "let's see what happens". Both WAN(T to be good ponies so in my mind there is not a lot to be gained by focusing on 'fixing' anything or what's hard for them or not working that well this week. I think I just need to keep moving forward and trust in the bigger picture - it seems to be working for me so far!
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| Not to say the odd visit to pony jail won't happen. |
It's kind of a luxury having a Bridget pony that does it all - there is very little pressure to bring Sophie along quickly, so my current mindset is perhaps influenced by that. I'm also finding Sophie to be very intelligent, so the "less is more" approach is working well for her.
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| Thus concludes your Ferry Ride Deep Thoughts for this week. |
How about you? Has your mental approach to training and riding shifted as time has gone on? Do you find you're more productive following a schedule with goals, or are you less structured and just take it day by day? Maybe it just depends on the horse?
that "quirky" picture is AMAZING OMG haha!
ReplyDeleteand yea, i love this post. it's so so so critical to regularly take a step back and take our "temperature" as the case may be. i've had to work really really hard on my mentality and it isn't always easy, but it's definitely way harder than it has to be when i get too focused on those external pieces that aren't really speaking to my own feelings of happiness and fulfillment.
Right? My barnmates were/are exceptional, and I really got caught up in wanting to be a part of that and comparing myself. This quieter life self boarding at home and having a young horse really feel more like "me" tho.
DeleteIve been really trying to back up and chill about things.
ReplyDeleteI wish I could give some advice...It just kind of evolved for me out of necessity.
Deletegreat post! It is nice to be able to take your time with horses and work on a schedule that suits you and the horse... My personal experience has been that every time I set a concrete goal and get excited about it, life smacks me upside the head and something happens. Over the past 5 years, I've learned to just sit back and enjoy the smaller wins. It isn't always easy, but it is way less stressful!
ReplyDeleteI've noticed a huge difference in Bridget, and my partnership with her. We are both a lot happier together without all the big goals, and I think she was telling me all along being a sport pony is simply not what she wants to be.
DeleteI think your mental approach is just perfect, considering you have a baby horse who doesn't nee to be rushed! It's hard when the human wants to do everything (like me), but the horse simply comes first. It's also really hard to watch everyone around you keep doing things while you're still back at basics (ask me how I know), but everything with horses ebbs and flows and you guys will be out there before you know it!
ReplyDeleteThere were definitely some judgey comments made last weekend that got me thinking. But yeah, I stand by my decisions - she's really immature, even for 3 and I think taking it slow now is what we both need.
DeleteI’m really enjoying this post! I’ve realized, perhaps belatedly, that I got pretty burnt out over the year where I was taking weekly lessons and taking dressage very seriously. I do want to ride and compete at Dressage but I also want to do other things and being tied to a weekly lesson schedule is just too much for me right now. It’s been good to take a step back but now I need to figure out how to actually spend time at the barn and do pony things without getting too serious and burning myself out.0
ReplyDeleteI found that in the moment, I had all the momentum and motivation to keep at it and would have said I was happy, but I think I'm happier now with a more balanced life.
DeleteAs a reader I've definitely noticed a huge shift in your blog from over the years!
ReplyDeleteIt's probably not as interesting without the goals, lessons and shows, but honestly I'm happier.
DeleteYour shift over the past years seems to suit you well! You seem so much more relaxed and happy in every post. It's really inspiring, honestly.
ReplyDeleteI've shifted a lot in recent years. I'm much more chill about things overall, though definitely do better when I have a "goal" to work towards. With a goal that has a date on it, I structure things better and with a bit more purpose. Without one, I'm really lackadaisical. Fortunately, even with structure, I'm much more relaxed than I once was. It's so much better for my headspace.
I hear you, I definitely still need to have some bigger picture goals to work towards! I can't really nail down precisely why I am less intense these days, but life is sure a lot easier and more enjoyable.
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