Tuesday 26 February 2019

Growing a Backbone (slowly)

The barn has been a bit of a stressful place of late. Its not due to any one thing necessarily, just a bunch of little "mean girl" type things. I'm doing my best to be an adult and deal with everything fairly and immediately, rather than my introvert default of hiding and nurturing hurt feelings. Its hard though...inside I know what I want and am probably stubborn to a fault, but I'm also the person who is just overly nice and then walks away and does their own thing rather than actually just dealing with confrontation and resolving whatever bothered me. Changing patterns is hard!

I'd never say being kind is a mistake, but using it as an excuse to not be more assertive when needed probably is.
Fingers crossed, I've effectively communicated some boundaries, and will keep my head down and mind my own business. I'll do my best to not hold grudges (another thing I need to work on, lol) I love how this is probably stuff every adult human deals with in life, but for me it took people messing with my happiness at the barn to finally get proactive about it :) Dealing with it head on didn't come easy to me, but I feel better knowing I've tried.

The snow is finally melting!

My rides on Bridget have been pretty "meh". She's feeling out of shape and all discombobulated again. I've never had a pony where it was quite so important to keep her working properly...long rides out on the trail are fine, but too much of that and she starts to forget how to carry herself in the arena.  I guess I've always been lucky in that my previous rides have maintained a decemt fitness base even without much focused help from me. The days are getting ever longer though, so fingers crossed we'll get Dressage Bridget back with more dedicated work.

One of the few rides on B where I thought I might actually die. She was feeling very playful, but the snow was icy underneath and honestly she's a clumsy creature at the best of times!

I'm also thinking she's due for another check of those hocks, and a visit from the saddle fitter. We might not have any big show plans this spring, but that's no reason to put off the little things or not try to be our best selves.

B attempting to help me muck her paddock.

Sophie...little Ms Sophie did me proud this weekend. I'm at the very beginning stages of learning to trim her feet, and therefore she needed to stand tied patiently and bear with me working on her (and the two people teaching me) off and on for well over an hour on Sunday. I think she tried to take her foot back from me once in all those minutes of me fumbling around and got lots of compliments on her manners.
Pretty sure I've used this one of Sophie and her herdmates before, but I neglected to take any pictures of her this weekend!

She apparently can be a bit of a naughty girl at times, but I've yet to see it so I'm not sure what I can do about it. I suspect she's just being a baby and testing boundaries. Her and I probably figured our whole dynamic out a while ago, because from my viewpoint she's been super easy and hasn't even hinted at anything really "bad".  I hope the more people she deals with, the more she realizes the same basic rules apply for all humans.


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19 comments

  1. I'm sorry your peace at the barn is getting invaded. Hopefully it quiets down and you are able to find the solace there you once did.

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    1. Crossing my fingers, evaluating exit strategies too tho :D

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  2. I sincerely hope things at the bar get more peaceful in the near future! Having that taken away is the absolute worst =(

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    1. Their have been too many sleepless nights lately, worrying about stuff at the barn.

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  3. Barn drama is the worst! Hugs!

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  4. ugh i hate having to deal with that sort of drama too, good luck!

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  5. I'm glad that you set some boundaries. They are so important. I have found that my horses behave differently depending on who is handling them, so I'm not sure what you can do if Sophie is being naughty. I would tend to think that the person experiencing it is not dealing effectively with her.

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    1. Unfortunately that person already knows everything, so we must tread carefully ;)

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    2. Sorry, was agreeing with Teresa that it's most likely the person handling her. However, the person who is complaining is very confident in their abilities Vs mine, so it's an awkward conversation.

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    3. Sorry, I meant it sounded like user error on the over confident handler who seems to be the one having issues vs you... But maybe I'm wrong. The abundance of confidence and know-it-all attitude often indicates user error in my experience (of course they can NEVER do anything wrong...). I hope I'm a little clearer? I know sarcasm and dry humor doesn't always translate over the internet.

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    4. Gotcha, sorry :) I think you nailed the issue with the person in question.

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  6. I'm glad you set boundaries and refuse to let yourself be walked on - hold your head high <3
    I hope things get better for you at the barn. Drama is the very last thing that belongs in a barn.

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    1. Some days I dream of being a hermit with my own barn, lol

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  7. Ugh that sucks, I'm the same way, but good for you for speaking up. Luckily my barn is pretty low-key, and whatever drama there might be I usually avoid by riding at the buttcrack of dawn when no one else is around!

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    1. I've been timing my visits to avoid certain situations - avoidance works pretty well!

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