Tuesday 9 January 2018

Not Ready

I've got enough people for the clinic mid month, and it's worth noting I have had an equal number of people asking to audit. Fingers crossed that means more people riding in the future! :)

The one thing I wanted to discuss here is that a number of those auditors don't want to ride because "they're not ready".  Everything from being worried they're not in good enough shape for a 45min lesson to wanting to wait until their horse is less green.

I've also had some recent, very similar conversations about showing - lots of people with bucket list goals that are too intimidated to take the first step towards achieving them.

More random pictures

Part of me gets it, life happens. Another part of me is like "But there's never a better time than the present to start working towards your dreams! You'll never be perfectly ready or prepared for anything in life, so just get out there and go for it if you want it!"

I think part of the problem locally at least, is that the equestrian calendar is sparse and the community is relatively small and static. To my knowledge there are no shows, and very few opportunities for lessons and clinics. In the past, that's meant clinics can kind of turn into a bigger deal than they are, with lots of spectators and an overly opinionated peanut gallery. More "show" than lesson for many, which leaves some reluctant to come if they're less than confident or "ready". Traveling away to shows can be a huge deal, too. I get that, because as an adult living in this community I had no idea what to expect at a 'real' show and that alone felt overwhelming the first time.

I wonder if this is a problem in a lot of small communities? People want to participate, however the calendar is limited and there isn't a lot of exposure to things. It's not easy. Here, there is also a weird local rider hierarchy with some finding security in thinking they're better than others, and a lot of opinions and pride on the line. I know as grown ups we're supposed to be over caring what others think, but it really can get a bit nasty and I'd never blame anyone for being intimidated.

Recent input from the peanut gallery: "Look how fast and stampy that canter is! It's scaring the other horses!" LOL

I'm not sure what I can do to help make it a more positive environment beyond what I'm doing. For lessons,  EC is kind, but pretty blunt, and is honestly genius at quietly taking you down a peg if necessary or building you up if that's what required.  More than anyone I've ever met, she really doesn't do drama. So she's an ideal clinician for the situation.

I'm not booking clinics where there's a sound system and a comfy place for people to hang out and chat. Its just a set of scheduled lessons, and if you're coming, you're going to be there to watch and listen. EC will happily answer questions and chat between lessons, but otherwise her attention is soley on the person riding.
random garage recently serving to inspire my barn design ideas

'Show' prep wise, I wonder about putting together a weekend 'showing 101' clinic in the summer. I have a friend who's bucket list thing is to go XC. Another wants to do a reining show. Another, a hunter show. Not huge goals, but intimidating when you've got no real coaching or eyes on the ground and never done it. I wonder if we can put together a weekend with a few talks about basic show prep and rules, followed by an opportunity for everyone to try their 'thing' so they can all run through a few practices following real tests/courses and with real feedback in the form of EC (she's a licensed judge at the provincial level as well as being a dressage and eventing coach/rider). Good idea?

Myself, my current small contribution is that I try to find only positive things to say about everyone, and pointedly change the subject if things start getting said that I don't think the person in question would appreciate. Riding is hard, and we all have our struggles. I don't think anything bad should be said about anyone out there trying to learn.


Anyone out there living somewhere similar? What do you do to help keep a positive and happy learning environment where everyone feels welcome?

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17 comments

  1. I dunno if its the mindset of a small community because I've experienced it from people in bigger cities and places where there are lots of equestrian activities as well. Hell even I held this mindset for a while when I was younger when it came to riding and then shoved it into the "traveling" part of my life - I thought I didn't have the money or the time off or anything. It just takes someone to gentle shake you to make you realize that the best time to start is now.

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    1. Good point. I might be looking at this all wrong - it might be more a case of human nature at work here rather than lack of opportunity.

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  2. I most definitely suffer from the “I’m not ready” bug, but I’m just forcing myself to get out there this year. I found a local trainer a few months ago and am using my twice monthly lessons with her to help make me feel more ready for more experienced/more expensive trainers on a monthly basis. My regular trainer actually puts on a yearly show meeting (dressage only), where she discusses schedules/expectations/etc. I think you’re doing a lot of good if you’re shutting the haters up a bit during others’ rides. And PS – I’ve gotten the ‘loud canter’ comment before. Stampy little ponies have the cutest canters!

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    1. Stampy ponies unite! :) And yay for awesome trainers!

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  3. We have the same thing happen in our area - but a lot of it kinda relates to the price of the lesson vs the amount of info they receive out of it. Not because the clinician isn't helpful, but because the person feels that their $85 for a 45min lesson would better be spent on hay or something. Which, is totally fine.

    I was kinda in that camp too, but then I realized I could just clinic with the regular coaches for half the cost before moving up to "big" clinics. People wanna get the most bang for their buck sometimes, but it isn't always the case for when they saw "we aren't ready."

    I am taking on the "do all the things" approach this year instead of worrying if we are "ready" for it.

    Ready or not?

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    1. I love the going for it approach. I understand the money thing too, and that could be at play here. Trouble is, there literally is no one else teaching locally and EC is just plain expensive, even at her home barn :( There's definitely an opportunity here for the beginner-intermediate coach who charges a lower fee and can get people started.

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    2. I always find I'm kinda like "eek I'm not ready or good enough to ride with ____". But when I end up going I glean soooo much good info that I wonder why I considered not going in the first place lol.

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  4. I've noticed that here as well. I think we have a vision of what we should be able to do and don't want to be criticized in public. Once people have a chance to watch K a few times you will find more people want to participate.

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    1. I'm hoping so. I got tons of good feedback about how positive/approachable she is. She's quite tactful, setting you up with exercises to make you aware of your weak spots yourself without actually verbally calling you out on it. Her: "Here, let's try this neck rope, it'll be fun!" Me: "WAIT WHAT DO I DO WITHOUT MY HANDS?!what are these leg and seat aids you speak of?!" Lol

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  5. I have a friend who has basically been ready to finally show Third and get her bronze for like... five or six years in a row now. Every show it's something. Oh the horse isn't reliable in his changes yet, oh my job is so busy that I can't ride, oh my horse hates that facility, oh I'm out of town for that one. I finally told her she's just got to sign up and just DO IT but now she's talking about how busy this year will be and how she probably can't do it. We're in a dressage mecca, there's a show every single weekend for like five months in a row! I'm pretty decent at planning the rest of my life around shows so sometimes I don't get it. But to each their own, I'm trying to at least get her to a schooling show!

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    1. I think I work so hard for my own progress and goals and have been doing that so long that I was forgetting that side of it until a couple of the comments mentioned it...that there are people who may want to do it, but have priorities that maybe don't always revolve around horses. (Does this mean not everyone spends days blogging and obsessing over show schedules, lessons, and riding plans? Whoa! Does this mean I'M the crazy one?!;)

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  6. I've found the same is true even when the area is saturated with horsey things. I live near Charlotte, NC, and we have a lot of goings on locally and within about a 3 hour drive. You could find something every weekend if you wanted to. And I have friends and other boarders who are all, 'Hey, when you go (to a show, to a lesson, XC schooling, etc), let me know because I want to go!" But then when I have a date/time, even if it's to a local jumper show where they start with cross-rails, it's always, "Oh, I'd love to but we're not ready."

    I don't get it. Horses are not magically going to look at you and go, "Hey there, today's the day I'm ready!" You have to get out there and try. And if you bomb it, well, everyone has at one time or another, so you try again. It'd be frustrating to be the organizer of these things, so kudos to you!

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    1. I totally agree, no time like the present to go do all the things! I need to practice being patient with the people who talk the talk but don't follow through :)

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  7. yea we get that same kinda attitude around here too. honestly it really bugs me when people are constantly struggling in their rides but refuse to get help from a trainer bc they feel they're "not ready" or don't want to embarrass themselves or something. idk. like on one hand i get it, like you say it CAN be intimidating and it can be stressful to put yourself out there and be vulnerable bc you know there are gonna be challenges and mistakes and whatnot. it IS hard to be purposeful in stepping forward and working harder to get better. on the other hand tho, staying on the back burner bc you're afraid to take that step forward? yea, to me, that's basically tacitly choosing to stay on the struggle bus, in which case i start to lose patience with constantly hearing how bad the rides are. and yes i know this sounds harsh haha, but like, there's so much liberation to be found by just choosing to go out and DO IT. to anyone on the fence, all i can do is to encourage them to at least TRY, just once. and see how it feels.

    esp when it comes to shows and clinics and stuff like that. it's supposed to be fun, it's supposed to be a relatively low risk opportunity to grow and develop. and the rider who can't spare $50 or whatever for a single lesson ever bc they're "not ready" might need to rethink all the other dollars horses consume.

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    1. Here we have a lot of people who are 'experts' and so they will not seek help, ever. On the plus side, they do tend to sell some pretty nice horses cheap, because horsey is always the problem. There's a weird dynamic here, so I'm trying my best to encourage a really positive learning environment so the people who do want to learn and progress can do so without the naysayers influencing them so much.

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  8. as people who follow my blog realize I have NO PROBLEM not being ready and riding in a professional lesson (or event) without being ready. I already emailed Emily about another lesson (AFTER I am not contagious do not want to sicken the instructor) and probably wont ride before it. I ride with Sally often without being prepared or schooled. BUT TO ME i am willing to spend the money I get my money's worth no matter HOW ready I am!! I am ready to learn. If i waited till we were ready we would never ride :) HA.

    I have seen it around here, not ready so they dont do whatever it is they want to do. Even if it is local event, if you arent ready for BN go Intro. If not Intro go elem. Most horses can trot the fences in Intro and elem you can walk if you have to. Getting out there is half the battle in my mind :) and i love that you are getting some auditors to watch. that will be the best thing for more to sign in. So glad you got interest! You go girl! :)

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    1. I'm exactly like you when it comes to just doing stuff. I tend to be a bit (ok, a lot) introverted and not confident, so I don't allow myself time to think it through if I can help it. Hence, part of my disconnect/struggle with the people who 'want to do it' but don't...I'm over here like "hey, I'm the overweight 40 year old AA who signed up for jumping lessons with the goal of taking my pony starter level the first time because I thought eventing looked cool as a kid. If I can do it anyone can!"

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